Compromises

25 Nov, 2013

We are made of compromises, too many compromises I might say.

 

If it were to analyse ourselves a little, we’ll notice that we are compromising in everything: at work, at school, in our families, in love and so on. I don’t know whether is right or wrong, but I do know that anything in excess turns into something completely different. You don’t notice you are gaining 100 grams each day until you look in the mirror and notice you are a whale. Same with our compromises, little by little, each day until we realise that we are not the same person anymore and we wonder why, when and who is to be blamed.

 

Therefore, is it right or is it wrong to compromise?

 

Reading the definition in the explanatory dictionary, I notice a negative connotation when it comes about people, about their reputation or when it is about an agreement settled by mutual concessions. I’d also say that is a two-way road. Sometimes we compromise willingly, sometimes we don’t. Strictly speaking about relationships I came to the conclusion that every day is a new compromise, at least from one side. There is no limit and no referee to stop it. You never know when is too much or too little, nor when is right or wrong. We just compromise because we have to or because we have to maintain the floating line.

Even though I don’t know the depth of the story, I have a pretty good example. When I was in China, I used to have a roommate who was involved in a relationship. She was living in Shanghai while he was in New York and saw each other twice a year, sometimes when they were lucky maybe 3 or 4 times. Their main concern was the time zone the difference being of 12 hours, when she was getting ready for bed, he was waking up and the other way around. At first I thought it’s impossible and I just could not understand the recipe of this relationship. First of all, why were they tormenting like this? They were really in love with each other and both willing to strive for their career, her in China and him in America. At first, I could not see any compromise as long as both of them know exactly which their goal is and don’t give it up for love or for the sake of their relationship. But after few days I noticed that she used to wake up each morning at 6 o’clock to talk to him on Skype for two hours before she left for work while he was doing the same in the evening when she came back home. They used to have a mutual agreement and they were doing everything possible to keep it. I don’t know if their relation is still going on or for how long is lasted, but I found interesting the way they both supported each other without giving up their own dreams waiting that moment in time when they’ll be able to settle down in a place of their own, happy for having the power to resist and first of all because they succeeded to reach their goals. I could say this may be a positive example.

In most relations I know women are the ones making the most compromises. I won’t be giving names and I won’t focus on a single case, but why is this? Why give yourself up as a woman, give up your dreams, your ambition for one man? I can’t say it’s not worthy, I am sure he is the one you’ve got accustomed with, maybe you are afraid to take it all over again and you’re not sure you’ll find something better. Time goes by; nobody would ever give you back your youth, your beauty and especially the strength. Think where would you be today if you wouldn’t have given up everything for someone else’s sake, if you would have used more of your energy in your own benefit and would have let the other to be able to move and see the world…? Instead of compromising for someone, why not doing it for yourself? Think about it, reflect!

 

If we allow the compromise to tie our mind, our judgement, our heart and especially our ambition we would hear ourselves praying every day: “Dear God, give me the mind I have today and the years I left behind”

 

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