Evening…

I have a headache. A terrible one, actually. I believe I had thought too much and perhaps something has got burned up there, or someone / something has eaten my entire energy up. One friend of mine advised me to start writing, perhaps this way I might relax. I shall give it a go.

I used to waste so much time on Facebook. It was the first thing I did when opening my laptop and the last thing upon going to bed. It’s true that I absolutely love pictures, my house is full of them, and so are my telephone and my laptop. I find pictures everywhere. Sooner or later I succeed in organizing myself and taking them out so that they do not rest, just like that, forgotten in a certain file or something. I like writing the name, place and date on the back of every single such picture. That’s how I used to see my grandma doing all the times, and that’s how it got stuck in my memory too. That’s another fixed idea of mine. I have tens of albums, forgotten in several drawers. I’m quite sure that at one given moment in time I shall sit down on a couch, with a glass of wine in my hand, reviving the memories. So, this has been the main reason why I made myself this account. To share various things which I find to be quite interesting with my friends and, of course, to check how they’re doing, where they’re heading to and most of all, what’s new. However, being a hypocrite is so much in fashion on this socialization website, sometimes even taking an extreme form. Everyone is happy, all smiley faces and in love. I have never given a “Like” just like that. There are people whom I absolutely love and press the “Like” button for every single picture. Not for obligation reasons, but because I simply like everything. I’m terribly amused by those who have an account, who are always online, but make no upload whatsoever, hardly have they like 2 – 3 photos and from time to time they “throw” a little comment or “share” a famous quote. Since.. hey…. There are so many pages full of thoughtful words that refer to someone or something in particular. Therefore, my darling, how come you messed up your life with this socialization website? Just to be part of the crowd, isn’t it? That’s interesting. I should look into it in the future.

I used to have around 1000 friends. Too much if I come to think of it. I cut them in half. I know, I know, I’m the one being fussy and arrogant, not accepting any friendship requests and in addition to that, I am the one also erasing other people for just no reason whatsoever. And I’m not even a VIP or any  public personality. I should be ashamed of myself. I’m an arrogant and I can’t have any friends. I just want to sit by myself and I shall do my best to get at the smallest number as I possibly can. Pitiful. What’s the point of our being friends on Facebook if we hardly say hello to each other when we meet in the street? Moreover, you keep on babbling and I’m thinking you are praying for my health….? Every evening…. I know that too. I’m not someone who is loved by too many people. And I have suffered a lot when I was young. I used to suffer when seeing children full of so much evil inoculated by their parents, of course. How is it possible that they teach you at home to heat someone for just no reason whatsoever? Or maybe… not just for any reason… since there are a number of such reasons!! Or maybe I have been crazy ever since I was a child and this is all my imagination. I probably thought I was too important. I turned 18, got a car as a gift. I wasn’t the first one in all that high school, nor the last one. It was in fashion. You were coming of age, you got a car. Well, …I’ve been a little bit more disadvantaged, I haven’t got my car at a party. I got it back home, with a limited number of people present, feeling happy with my parents beside me. I got a good car, however pretty modest, I would say, when BMWs were like mushrooms after a rain, of course, on an empty stomach. I even now recall the first day I parked feeling so happy in front of my high school and I couldn’t wait for the classes to end, so that I “take it one more time for a ride”. When… what do you know? There was a huge scratch on the hood. Feeling nervous and frustrated…he scratched my car with his key… why should you have it and I don’t?! My good people, no one picks up money from the trees and neither does it fall off the sky. I can assure you of that.

To be honest, there are still some people on my list who have no reason to stay there. However, out of common sense, or maybe out of hypocrisy, we still virtually keep in touch. Frankly, I won’t be upset if you delete me. Maybe I won’t even notice, because I hardly ever look at your profile, perhaps never. Now I would like to apologize to all those whom I didn’t give an “Accept” to, not because I didn’t want to, but because I’m a little bit “a – technical” and if I don’t know you or your name does not pop up in my face, then I don’t bother for not even a “not now”. Therefore, I’m not doing it because I’m a bad person, I’m doing it because I don’t know.

Well..I feel I am so important and I suffer from being paid attention to. That’s precisely the reason why a few days ago I took my “last seen” on whatsapp out. And that’s another application that sometimes eats the life out of me. Just when I was having my most exciting or interesting conversations with a friend of mine (she was telling me the most recent gossip), there was someone out there who was upset with my having read his comment and having left any message at all. I acted the same way several times therefore, that person is not to blame. I even tracked people on whatsapp and I found out about a lot of things. And now I sit and wonder…why? For nothing at all. I probably had too much free time at my disposal. I haven’t solved anything.  I only had more thoughts and scenarios. I am already an expert! I believe one day I could write a movie on this. And I think the name would be: Life is a scene!

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