Morning

Morning!… actually, it’s noon already.. I first opened my eyes at 7.30 a.m., however I’ve decided not to walk around the house for nothing, therefore I turned on the other side.  I haven’t slept much these last few days. A lot of work, busy mind. First thing first: my coffee. I turn on my laptop. It’s as if I’m in a total mess. It’s been a while since I’ve had 400 emails, which I am hopelessly looking at. It’s true that I reply to the most important ones, leaving the rest where they are. I could delete them, but anyway.. Tomorrow. I get so many appreciations for this magical place of mine, where I lay down my thoughts on an occasional basis. Thank you all for this. And most of all I hereby thank  you all for your encouraging words. I shall try not to stop here. See, even this has made my morning a whole lot brighter. Honestly, last night before I fell asleep, I had written down in my mind a couple of things, so as to write them today, however, I forgot them. Just as usual, I haven’t written them down anywhere. Well,… they will come back to me when the time is right.

 

I’ll take a quick shower, put my make – up on, make a ponytail..I haven’t had the time to go to the hairdresser’s … I’ll leave it for tomorrow. I think lately I’ve used this word “tomorrow” more than ever. I’ve been pretty organized my entire time, always having an agenda and a ball point pen in my hand, always looking at my watch and never being late. In terms of being late, I’m never late now either, but it just seems to me that some things have a way of solving themselves. Such as the bulb from the entrance to my home. I believe there are about 2 weeks since it got burned. Every day I come into the house, take a look at it and smile. It’s as if I kindly ask it to light up, or for any miracle to happen. Well, as long as it’s bright and light in the house, why would I be bothered by a burned bulb?!

 

That’s how the first half of the day went on for me. I looked outside the window, it’s not nice outside. The sun seemed to be fighting with the clouds, however he doesn’t seem to make it. It’s already the time for me to forget about dresses, skirts and sandals. Well….not all of them….however, most of them. You know what they say… fall cleaning. I personally have a very close connection with all my clothing articles that I’m wearing. I have to admit I’m wearing some of them in an excessive manner, with no logic whatsoever. Others I never wear. There are so many things which have passed the cleaning test and have remained in my dressing. Well, I have to underline the fact that I’m lucky to maintain the same weight for a few years now. Thus, those 7 year old jeans, which are probably out of fashion for some people, I for one can perfectly accessorize them with something new or vintage. And I believe there have been many times when my jeans have come before some more recent pair of jeans, or a more expensive one, or more fussy or more brand – like. I make connections between memories and moments. I’m superstitious. I believe in the recent years, at every single exam I have had the same shirt. And in a strange way …it brought me luck. I do have a repulsion towards certain clothes..however, I cannot remove them either. Even if I look at them and start reminding many and many things which are less nice, all of them are part of my life and I just have to accept them. And then, I did have something to learn and acquire.

 

I’m messy. I acknowledge and accept this fact. I don’t take care of clothes, of purses, of shoes.. no matter how expensive or how important they might be for me.. and particularly, because of the fact that I have never had only one place, in a single town, I have never had what I needed, at the said place and given time. And I was always desperately looking in my wardrobe and thinking how it might have been, to be able to purchaser 3 – 4 dresses of the same type, or shoes, or purses.. and to have and keep in every single house. Never to be missing anything. Absurd I know..but sometimes my mind goes crazy. These clothes are absolutely eating both my life and my money..

 

There are many people who don’t focus at all on this part, we, honestly, good for them! When I got to China, I was all sweaty, nervous and with my hands full and carrying a huge push cart. I left with 3 suitcases. I got to the hotel, where I got acquainted with my colleagues. I felt I wanted to bury my head into the ground. How was I more special? Nothing made me special, at that particular time, we were all alike. And after spending some time over there,  I realized there were few people noticing that I was wearing another pair of shoes anytime I went out and of course the bag that was always a match. Ah, and my dress was necessarily always different, worn only once. Yeah..I don’t know what they were thinking, however I felt really good. Every time the feeling of something new and of a perfect match made me walk with my back straight and look forward. Because you know what they say.. Clothes don’t make the man, but it helps.

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