We share almost all the things in our lives. If not permanently than for a long time. Even since birth we share our parents’ attention with a brother or a sister. We share love and feelings. We grow up and continue to do the same.
What does it mean to share? How much can we share?
Selfishness is something that we often mean these days. Probably the constant fight for survival makes us selfish. If you don’t struggle you stay at the same level. Sometimes we need to stamp things to get where we want to. We sometimes do this with the people around us, other times to a simple colleague or to a stranger. The first time we come to “sharing”, I guess, is kindergarten. You have to share your food, your toys and your time. We never choose the person we want to share things with to but we all had our moments when we wanted to taste the food of our colleague, when a “him” stole your favorite toy and so on. Your teacher always said: “Share! Give him because he will give back to you someday.”And you used to accept this and share. But what happened when the day he had to give back came and he played the fool? When you asked him nicely explaining that you shared things with him when he asked you to, but all this was for nothing? And then you start to think. How can I share things with the ones near me when I never receive something in return? I know … this is a very trivial example but many things come from that. Many times we stop trusting people and we stop giving exactly because of these trivial memories we have from childhood. I had colleagues, friends who were an only child. They were worse. They didn’t even know that a cookie can be broken into pieces and shared. They believed that they deserved everything and made you suffer when they got twice as much from their parents, because you … had to share with your whiner sister.
After you learn how to share these little things you get to the hard lesson. You start to share your friends with other friends or even with strangers or persons who are not that kind. It is quite painful that “her”, your best friend has another best friend. You give her your clothes; she lends you the bag you liked so much. When it comes to men, they share football courts, balls and maybe …. some women. This happens during the teenage years. It doesn’t matter who is with whom, the only thing that matters is to add more. Anyway, men find this easier. They don’t care so much about material things, strictly talking about clothes, shoes, books and so on. But women are worse. They clench their teeth and finally they share.
Some way or another teenage years pass. This period is followed by the one of having intimate relationships. The kind of issues that make you lose your reason. Firstly you start to share your body with another person. And as if this is not enough, you also share the bed, money, time, friends and all that’s left I would add. Some of us become so dependent of the other person that we can’t even go to the bathroom alone. We want him there all the time. So … we also share intimacy. What a big mistake! A couple must understand even from the start the limits of intimacy.
Each of us was raised in a certain way. We have different points of view and especially different habits. When you have always slept in the middle of the bed it is difficult to get used to sleep on your side and make room for the other. But after all you do it, because of love, respect or friendship. In the morning, you wake up feeling hungry; you open the fridge and notice that there is only one yoghurt left and your sweetheart is sleeping; maybe she will wake up with the same hunger, what do you do? Normally … you eat only half of it or maybe you don’t eat at all and save it for her … She is more sensitive and maybe she will not be in the mood to go to the store.
Money is a danger in every friendship. A miser gets along perfectly with a spender. But what do we do when two misers meet? One forgot his credit card at home and the other has no cash left … but the bill is still on the table. This also happens in a couple. Although there is no written rule, the German system is the best. My dear ones, let him feel like a man but still … you have to share costs. Money with money … there is a solution after all. What must be done when you have to share your other half, your soul and your love? How about sharing the person you love with another? How about knowing he is not completely yours? How about sharing your father with a sister, your man with another woman, your family with another family? How could we share in this situation? How do you know how much he belongs to you and how much to the others? How much are you willing to share?
And because sharing means to give a little to other people, divide, fragment, segment … and especially because we learn how to share without knowing how much, how many times and how … The impossible can always be divided into possibilities. Only you can decide how much to share, to whom and who to give up for. But do not forget, when you think too much of yourself the others leave you. Being selfish means building your happiness from other people’s misery. Altogether don’t forget about you as a person … about your principles. Share as much as you need to.