When I can not write

I laid in bed at 9 o’clock. I wanted to read for an hour and then go to sleep. I couldn’t. The book written by Chirila ”Equilibrium exercise” fascinates me. It was a gift. Thank you.

I’ve been looking at this blank page for minutes. I write … I delete … I write again … I delete again…

I always underline passages that I read and liked. I don’t know why. There are books I’ve read and never opened again. There are complete lines I’ve loved, I’ve felt … but I’ve forgot all about them. Too bad. I am trying to read newspapers, but just as Mrs. Vulpescu said: “There is so much routine in the world but so little truth …” Politicians always fight, fortunes are divided and there are more and more stars. I’ve seen too many movements among Romanian people on TV.  Right, left … today friends, tomorrow enemies. We lose our time instead of enriching our heart and mind; we lose reason, principles and ambition. This is all not important. Let them do whatever they want to. It’s their problem.

Thank all those who encourage me to write. People I know or not. I’ve received a lot of messages, and I replied briefly: “I’m not in the mood to write. I am sorry.” Please forgive me all of you who visited my blog and there was nothing new. I feel an immense joy, an urge knowing you there. I sometimes think I shouldn’t make my page so personal. I would have been easier to write on. Maybe I am wrong. I wonder, would I have seemed a different person if you read this without knowing me? I am curious about the way it could have been. How would you have pictured me?

Yes, yes … I give myself too much importance, too much credit. My mind is the one which creates the wrong impression. I am sorry. Friends, acquaintances, unknown people … the ones who read the things I write …you have a reason… You like it or not. By curiosity or mistake. I don’t know if you always get to the end… Anyway, thank you. It’s dark and late … Good night.

 

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